


I've been thinking too much. (Help me)

by Fairlyblvrry



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Sad, Swearing, Trigger warnings:, and Tyler wants to help him, in which Josh is scared to live, self doubt, self hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 04:07:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4086058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairlyblvrry/pseuds/Fairlyblvrry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One shot in which Josh is scared to live, and Tyler wants to help him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've been thinking too much. (Help me)

He knew something was wrong. He just _knew_.   
Tyler had always been a bright guy, always knew what to do and say in difficult situations. He was intelligent, and everyone around him knew that.  
Tyler is good with words, whether that be writing lyrics, or giving advice.   
He was smart and knew what to say.

So when Josh stops being… Well, stops being _Josh._ He knows he needs to do something. Because he can’t stand watching his best friend crumble to pieces before his own eyes.

No one knew what started it. 

All Tyler knew was Josh had suddenly became unhappy.

And people had begun to notice.

 

It was odd. Joshua Dun was _always_ so happy. He would _always_ have a smile of his face and try to make others smile. _  
_

So when Josh suddenly stops being happy, warning bells sound in Tyler's mind. He needs to help.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Josh opens his eyes and looks up when a wrapped up taco bell burrito is placed in his lap and Tyler is smiling down at him, 'I thought you might be hungry.' 

'Uh, thanks... How'd you get in?' Josh asks quietly, sitting up straight on the shitty hotel room sofa,

'Mark got the hotel to give me a key to your room.' Tyler shrugs, sitting down next to his best friend, 'I need to talk to you about some stuff.' 

'Oh yeah? What stuff?' Josh asks, opening the burrito and taking a bite, smiling when he realises Tyler got his favourite. 

'You stuff.' 

'Me stuff?'

'Yeah.'

There's a long pause, the silence is thick and hanging between them like an insult. 

Josh is the first to break it, 'I'm okay, you know?' 

'You're not.' 

'I am. Honestly, Ty. I'm good.' The faded red haired man shrugs, 

'Joshua William Dun, I am your best friend and I don't appreciate you lying to me.' 

'I hate how smart you are.' Josh whispers, looking at Tyler sadly,

'I know you do. Now finish your burrito, I'm gonna go pee then we're gonna talk, alright?' Tyler sighs, 

'Okay, Ty.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

'So what's going on in this little head?' Tyler asks, tapping Josh's temple lightly,

'Bad things.' 

'You wanna tell me about them?' 

'I'm scared, Ty, I'm really scared.' 

The tears start falling then. 

'Okay Joshie, come here. I need you to talk to me. What are you scared of?' He reaches out for Josh, but he doesn't let Tyler touch him.

Josh thinks for a minute, finally letting Tyler wipe the tears off of his cheeks before he takes a deep breath.

'I'm not sure. Myself, I think.' He whispers, 

'Your scared of yourself?' Tyler asks and Josh nods, 'Can you tell me why?' 

'I'm not good enough. I'm a failure and I'm failing more day after day. I've been hearing voices, Ty. They've been talking to me in my sleep, in my dreams... In my head. They put me down and tear me apart. I'm scared. I'm scared, I'm  _scared. I'm scared.'_   Josh is panicking now, breathe coming out in short spurts as he clutches the fabric of his jeans, 

'It's okay to be scared, Jish. I get scared sometimes. You shouldn't listen to the voices, though. They're not right, they're lying to you.'

'No! You're lying.  _You're lying.'_

'I'm not lying to you, I'm not. I'm trying to help you, I don't want you to be scared.' Tyler's voice cracks as he speaks, watching as Josh breaks down in front of him.

It's silent for a minute before Josh screams. 

A heart wrenching, ear piercing scream. 

'No! You're lying.  **You don't care!** You don't care about  _me_ _!_ Why would you? I'm useless. I'm a failure. I should just kill myself.  **I'm not worth it! I'm not worth your trouble. Let me go, let me go.** ' 

But Tyler isn't touching Josh, he has nothing to let go of. 

'Get out, get out, get  _out_ _!_ Leave me alone, leave me alone.' 

Josh is screaming again, clutching is head and rocking, trying to block out the voices. 

'Joshie, it's okay, tell me what they're saying.' Tyler says calmly, keeping his hands close to Josh so he can grab him if he tries to move.

'You don't love me! You don't need me! I'm dead, Ty, I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm  **dead**.' He's crying heavily, his words broken up by sobs, 'Let me go! Let me go! I can't breathe!  **Tyler!** Tyler, I can't breathe!'

'Hey, shh, it's okay Jish, you're okay, look at me.' But Josh doesn't look at Tyler, so he reaches out to lift the red haired mans chin up.

Josh lashes out. Pushes Tyler away violently and sobs harder.

'No! They'll hurt you! They'll hurt you like they're hurting me! Don't let them, Ty, make them go away! It's so loud,  _so loud!'_

 

'I know it's loud Josh, but you are louder. Your thoughts are louder, your love and happiness and kindness is louder, your drums are louder. You are louder than them, Jishwa.' Tyler is whispering, his soft voice wavering as his puts so much  _emotion_ into his words. 

Josh calms down slowly, his breath getting steadier as Tyler talks to him. 

He looks up at his best friend, eyes red and wide, 'I'm so sorry.' He whispers,

'No. Don't be sorry. It's okay.' 

'My head is horrible right now, Ty, it makes me want to kill myself.' Josh says sadly, fresh tears sparkling in his eyes, 'And I don't wanna do that. I don't Ty. The clique need me. They need us, together.' 

'I know Joshie, and i'll keep you going.' Tyler whispers, leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss to Josh's hair. 

He gets an idea suddenly and a grin breaks out across his face. 

'Go to the bathroom and wait in there.' He says softly and Josh looks confused but nods anyway, getting up and walking to the little hotel bathroom. 

Tyler quickly gets up and walks over to Josh's bed, kneeling down next to his suitcase and taking out the plastic bag that he keeps his hair stuff in. Tyler pulls out the jar of manic panic dye and a pair of gloves before straightening up and following Josh into the bathroom. 

'What are you doing?' Josh asks, eyeing the things in Tyler's hands, 

'Your hair needs redoing. Gonna help you.' Tyler says simply, 

'Alright. Thanks.'

Three quarters of an hour later, Tyler gets off the sofa and takes Josh's hand, guiding him back into the bathroom. Tyler hands Josh the shower head and smiles at him, 

'Wash away the bad thoughts, Josh. Watch them all go down the drain.' He says softly and Josh's eyes water slightly, 

'Ty, I love your mind.' He whispers, taking the shower head and stretching so it reaches the sink, he tilts his head over the porcelain and gives Tyler the okay to start the water. 

'You see all that red? That's the demons, Josh. That's the bad thoughts and the harsh words and everything that is putting you down. You are washing away that part of your mind that is destroying you. You can do this Josh, you can escape them. You are stronger than them.' Tyler says, rubbing Josh's back as he rinses the dye out of his hair. 'You're free now, Jish. You're free.'

Josh stands up straight once he's finished and drops the shower head into the sink, Tyler turns and shuts the water off, and when he turns back, Josh hugs him tightly.   
Their bodies mold together as Josh nuzzles into Tyler's neck, which makes the taller man squirm as droplets of water slide down his skin. 

'I love you, Ty. You're  _amazing,_  so smart, so strong, so beautiful. Thank you.' 

Tyler doesn't say anything for a few minutes. Simply hugs Josh tightly. 

'I love you too. Don't let the demons take you.'

  _  
_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Literally wrote this in like half an hour haha I hate myself


End file.
